"I’ve Got Serious Beef With Nosferatu’s Christmas Release Date"
The 1922 silent horror classic "Nosferatu" is considered one of the most iconic and influential vampire films of all time. Directed by F.W. Murnau and starring Max Schreck as the hauntingly pale and unsettling Count Orlok, "Nosferatu" is a masterpiece of cinematic storytelling. And yet, despite its enduring popularity, the film’s holiday season release date is, in the words of the great philosopher, "a total turkey."
That’s right, folks, "Nosferatu" has been released on Christmas Day every year for decades, a tradition that I, for one, am fuming about. I mean, what’s the logic behind this ancient, musty, and downright confounding decision? Is it a deliberate attempt to sully the sanctity of Christmas with the dark, brooding atmosphere of a vampire’s lair? Have the filmmakers at Kino Lorber, the current distributors of the restored classic, lost all sense of holiday cheer and festive goodwill to men?
Because, let’s be real, "Nosferatu" is not exactly the film that screams "holiday cheer." In fact, it’s a bleak, somber, and haunting tale of death, decay, and the supernatural. It’s the cinematic equivalent of being stuck in a cold, dark cellar with a bunch of dusty, cobweb-covered skeletons. And who needs that on Christmas morning, am I right?
Now, I’m not asking for a happy, saccharine romance under the mistletoe or a overly sugary, snow-globe-filled winter wonderland. But, come on, can’t we have something a little more jolly, a little more… festive? You know, like a fun, lighthearted rom-com or perhaps a heartwarming drama about the importance of family and togetherness? Something that won’t leave me feeling like I’ve been buried in a coffin for three days?
And don’t even get me started on the utter lack of holiday atmosphere in the film itself. No twinkling lights, no jingling bells, no warm, crackling fireplace to cozy up to. Just a bunch of dark, dingy, and apocalyptic visuals that will leave you feeling like the Grinch. Why, it’s enough to make you wonder if the filmmakers were trying to create a cinematic equivalent of a charcoal-filled stocking stuffer.
So, there you have it – I’ve got serious beef with Nosferatu’s Christmas release date. Can someone please, for the love of all things merry and bright, rethink this antiquated and depressing tradition? I’m all for expanding one’s cinematic horizons, but not at the expense of my holiday cheer. Share the love, Kino Lorber – give us something to sink our teeth into this Christmas season that’s a little more… warm and fuzzy.